Seven Rounds

(Thus Far, we haven’t published any fiction.  I figure we’d get things started with a flash piece from mine.  And you have something that mixes horror tropes and actions click on the ‘Submissions’ Link and send it out way!)

Seven Rounds

By J.M. Perkins
‘Drop him!’ I command, wishing my voice was deeper.


The perp does, but then starts stalking right towards me.
“Halt!” I command and this time she doesn’t listen.

The first bullet I fire is just that: copper coated lead.  I can already tell it’s not gonna do shit.  I hit her anyway, more reflex and lingering sanctification than anything else.  I don’t even know why the brass insists the first shot has to be norm (that’s what my other sidearm is for).  Oh well, regs are regs I guess.

The next two shots are silver.  Even during the day there’s a surprising number of wolf gangbangers nowadays; and they don’t stop just ‘cause the sunlight makes them wear their human skins. These slugs hit her without noticeable effect – but silver is light and less effective than a norm round unless you have a susceptibility to it.

I pull the trigger again and again and again. The garlic and holy water infused bullet with a  crucifix etched on the front doesn’t work. But if I thought she was a vampire I’d already be running back to the squad car where the crossbow is locked above the dash.  The compressed flower petal shell doesn’t do anything (only had it work once actually). And the distilled absurdity round causes her to laugh uncontrollably but otherwise keep advancing (I’m always relaxed when that one doesn’t work, anyone who has bravado concerning Cthuloids is a liar and a fool).

It’s not til round seven that she goes down: cold iron, as pure as we can make it.  Shoulda known.  While she’s lying on the ground I check the norm.

“You ok?” I ask.

Tears stream down his face. “She was going to take me to the everspring fields, I was to be a prince.”

“Yeah. Sure you were… I’ll get your statement in a second.”

The perp is coughing up something that looks like glitter and smells like potpourri.  I call in for an ambulance, wrap her tiny wrists (smaller than mine, even) in golden binding chord.

“You have the right to remain silent,” I say, “Anything you say, do or incant may be used against you in a court of law or through the column of the threefold return. You have the right to consult an attorney, summoner or cultural translator before speaking to the police and to have said party present during questioning or trial by honored combat now or in the future.”

It’s times like this I can’t help but think how much simpler being a cop was before the return.

How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love (some of) the Remakes: Fright Night (2011) Review

I should probably start this review with a disclaimer: I generally don’t like remakes.  Not that there’s anything wrong with them per se. Taking great stories and giving them a unique spin can lead to great results. But, as a rule, I’d rather see all that talent, money and artistry going to make something new.

Some exceptions to that rule: John carpenter’s ‘The Thing’ (never saw 2011’s prequel/remake), (in a non action-horror way) 2012’s 21 Jump Street and 2011’s Fright Night. In all of these cases; smart ,passionate screen writers and movie makers borrowed brand recognition in order to work with budgets and scales that might otherwise have been unavailable. 

Fright Night isn’t something new in terms of plot: A Vampire moves into town, after initial disbelief the hero realizes that he and only he can deal with this as his love interest is put into danger.  But even if you’ve heard this particular one before, it’s how they fit all the pieces together, it’s the ‘telling’ that makes it all work so beautifully.

First off, Colin Ferrel does a first rate job as the embodiment of suave menace as ‘Jerry.’ In what is either a conscious or fortuitous nod to the original ‘Dracula’ this is a monster who is more ‘manly’ than any of the protagonists, who’s emasculates lesser males as he threatens to turn them into cuckolds.

More to the point though, I love this movie because of all the little touches. The visuals serve the story, the artificiality of the Vegas suburb making for a great (and unique setting). A character using his cell phone to google how to pick a lock, a vampire lighting a house on fire because they won’t invite him in, and perhaps the only ‘No reception!’ scene in recent memory that didn’t make me want to smash my television.  This is the kind of movie where characters do what you’re always screaming at them to: like assaulting a vampire nest at Dawn (not, you know,dusk) and smashing out the windows of the house to let more light in or the mother character chooses to believe her son -even if he has been acting strangely- over the total stranger that moved in next door.

Because of moments like these, the tension actually works in this film which is perhaps even more impressive considering how funny the film can be.  They don’t act stupidly (within reason) and as such you believe in them and you believe in their peril.  So every moment of tension is earned. 

I highly recommend checking out Fright Night if you get a chance, it’s well worth your time.